I know, it’s really easy to say that you need to become emotionally independent and to fulfill your own needs, but that doesn’t do much good if you don’t know how.

Some people can sit there and meditate with the mantra “I love…myself”, but that just makes me feel silly. If you can just tell yourself the things you want to hear, go for it. It doesn’t work for me though.

I read once that the act of taking care of something makes you love it. Do we love our children because we take care of them (as opposed to taking care of them because we love them)? I don’t know. But if you ever see somebody with a little tiny dog that they coddle as their baby, you can see what I mean. That person didn’t instinctively love that little fur-baby because they birthed it and they have all kinds of maternal hormones flowing through them, they love it because they take care of it’s every need and the more they pamper that yappy irritating little pooch, the more they care for it.

The best way I know to come to be your own best friend is to practice taking care of yourself.

Treat yourself with respect. Do not take care of everybody else’s needs and then if you have a time leftover, take care of yours. If you did that to somebody else it would be an insult. Do not make promises you can’t keep, even if the other person won’t be bothered. You must be able to respect yourself and your word. Use as much care and attention in buying your clothes or feeding your body as you would give to doing those things for your children or for your best friend. Do not ever compromise on the things you believe just to avoid conflict.

Treat yourself with respect and care and attention, and you will begin to feel cared for and respected.